So, you've decided to dip your toes into the spicy world of BDSM, eh? Well, good for you! It's not your everyday vanilla experience, but hey, who wants to be ordinary, right?
Before you start picturing yourself as Christian Grey, let's clear up a few things. BDSM isn't just about whips and chains, it's a whole universe of gear and toys that can make your head spin faster than a top (pun intended).
Don't fret! This guide's got your back, or should we say, your backside? From beginner-friendly handcuffs to tantalising ticklers, we're about to embark on a wild ride into the realm of BDSM gear and toys. So buckle up, or should we say, strap in?
Setting Boundaries: Communication and Consent
Let's get one thing straight. BDSM ain't no "wham bam thank you ma'am" scenario. No siree. It's about trust, respect, and well, a good old chit-chat.
Before you dive into the world of handcuffs, ticklers and more, communication is your best mate in this dance. Picture the scene: you're at a swanky restaurant, you order the "surprise me" dish without telling the waiter about your allergy to peanuts. You could imagine the disaster!
Likewise, trying out all this fancy gear without talking about your boundaries, limits, and interests is like asking for a surprise that could be a wee bit unpleasant.
Onto consent. A key phrase in the BDSM realm is "safe, sane, and consensual". Means everything that happens, happens because all parties agree. It ain't like in those trashy novels, where a billionaire suddenly shows up with a tie and some handcuffs. Na-uh.
In the BDSM world, there's a must-have item known as a safeword. If you, or your partner, are uncomfortable or want to stop, you simply shout out your safeword. It's like a magic spell that stops everything. Poof!
Let me give you an example. Say "Bob" and "Sue" are dabbling in BDSM. They choose pineapple as their safeword. If Sue feels overwhelmed, she says pineapple and the play stops. Immediately. No ifs and no buts.
There's also something known as aftercare. Once the play has ended, it's crucial to ensure each party is emotionally and physically well. A cuppa tea, a warm hug, or a quiet cuddle works wonders.
So there you have it. Comms and consent: the twin pillars of BDSM before you even think about cracking open that brand new set of handcuffs. Get this right and your journey into BDSM will be nothing short of wonderful.
Beginner-Friendly BDSM Toys and Accessories
You're probably wondering, "What BDSM toys should I kick off my adventurous journey with?" Fear not, partner, I've whipped up a handy list of beginner-friendly tools and trappings to ease you into the BDSM seas. Let's dive in, shall we?
Gentle Impact Tools
Thinking about trying impact play but scared of going too far? Take it easy, champ. You don't have to bring out the big guns yet.
- Feather ticklers: Don’t let the delicate name fool you. These soft, fluffy bad boys can bring about powerful sensations when caressed over your partner's skin.
- Floggers: For those who fancy something a bit more spicy. Remember, it's all about technique, not strength.
Sensory Play Items
Sensory play can add a dash of delightful unpredictability to your encounters.
- Blindfolds: A simple yet effective tool. Who knew darkness could be so enlightening?
- Earplugs: Cut out the world. It's just you, your partner, and the sensations.
Bondage Tools
Who knew being tied up could be so freeing?
- Velvet handcuffs: Soft yet firm. Perfect for lovers of comfort and control.
- Silky ropes: For aspiring Shibari artists. Stay safe and take it slow.
Safe and Comfortable Accessories
This is where the safe word comes in. And don’t forget, consent is key.
- Collars and leashes: For those who love leading or being led. Always ensure a comfortable fit.
- Aftercare kits: To ensure a comfortable cooldown period. Include things like a comfy blanket, water, comforting snacks, and perhaps a “good job” sticker.
Remember, BDSM isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Or perhaps a hurdle race with flaming hoops… and feather ticklers. Whatever tickles your fancy. Above all, keep having conversations, learning, and growing in your BDSM journey. It's all part of the fun, right?
Exploring Restraints: Handcuffs, Ties, and Cuffs
You've flirted with the feather ticklers, been a bit bashful with the blindfolds, and it's time to take things to the next level. So how about diving into the delightful world of restraints? After all, who doesn't fancy themselves as a little bit of a Houdini in the bedroom?
Restraints are a fantastic way to explore power play and consent in a controlled, safe environment. They're adjustable, user-friendly and can be just as gentle or firm as you'd like them to be.
Handcuffs are a great starting point. They're famous, they're flirty and a whole lot of fun. Opt for fuzzy handcuffs if you're a bit nervous - they're still as effective but way less intimidating.
For those who prefer a softer touch, ties are your best friend. They're extremely versatile - you can tighten or loosen them as per your comfort, and guess what? They double as a blindfold if you're in a pinch or feeling a spontaneous surge of creativity!
Finally, there are cuffs for your wrists and ankles. These bad boys come in a variety of materials from leather to lace, providing options for each and every comfort level. Some come with hooks, others with chains, but all are designed to keep you or your partner exactly where you want them.
There are some excellent resources available, such as workshops and online guides, that provide tips and techniques on how to use restraints safely and effectively.
Remember, it’s all about trust, consent, and communication when introducing restraints into your BDSM play. Always have a safe word ready, ensure limits are respected and keep it enjoyable for everyone involved.
Sensory Play: Blindfolds, Masks, and Gags
So, you've dip your toes into the inviting waters of BDSM, and you're ready to plunge deeper. It's time we ventured into unchartered territories together, with blindfolds, masks and gags about to pique your interest. (One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind, as old Neil might've said if he was kinky.)
Let's start off easy, with something that's essential in your kitchen as well as in the boudoir: blindfolds.
For beginners, blindfolds are a gentle introduction to sensory deprivation. You know, like when you shut your eyes and let your mate feed you that mystery curry they've whipped up. Blindfolds are easy to control and their non-threatening nature makes them an excellent contender for your first dip into BDSM wearables.
We can't talk about masks without introducing their exotic cousin: gags.
You've probably had your voice stolen by a particularly scrumptious piece of pavlova, aye? Consider it a Kiwi's first encounter with a gag. In BDSM play, a gag is not just a bold statement accessory (though we're sure it'll turn heads at your local rugby game). It's all about control, submission and, at times, promoting drool. (Yes, you read that right. Embrace it; it's all part of the fun.)
Let's talk numbers here. Digestible, bite-sized, easy-as data. According to a survey by Peaches & Cream, our beloved Adult store in NZ, approximately 64% of Kiwi adults participating in BDSM play have used some form of sensory deprivation tool like blindfolds, and 36% have tried a gag of some kind – everyone's getting in on the action!
| Blindfolds | Gags | |
|---|---|---|
| Usage percentage | 64% | 36% |
Impact Play: Paddles, Whips, and Floggers
Right then, brace yourself, we're diving into the thrilling waters of impact play. You might know it as spanking, slapping, or just good old-fashioned whacking, but the actual term for it is "impact play". And I’m going to spill the beans on the most cherished tools of the trade: Paddles, Whips, and Floggers.
Paddles, they're not merely for propelling canoes you know? No, these flat-sided bad boys can provide quite the buzz. From light taps to thunderous thwacks, it's all about what sends your senses soaring.
The sensation varies based on materials. Leather paddles often leave a warm, stinging feeling. Wooden paddles? Well, they'll give you a sharp defined smack. There's a reason some folks call 'em spanking paddles. But it ain’t just about the pain, the pleasure centres in your brain also get a jolt from the sheer anticipation.
Now let's move onto the whips. Forget about Indiana Jones (unless that's your thing), this ain’t about archaeology. Whips in BDSM skim your skin with a hiss and snap, it's a whole new level of excitement.
Compared to paddles, whips generate a sharper, more superficial sting. They come in many varieties: single tails, cat-o'-nine tails, snake whips - each with its level of intensity. Exhilarating for some, a bit much for others, it's all personal preference.
And then there's the third member of this group, the floggers. Don't let their fluffy exterior fool you. A good flogging can give anything from a light tickle to a deep thud that reverberates all through your bits and bobs.
Remember, my friends, it's not about causing serious harm, but about exploring an additional facet of sensation and control. Communication, safe words, and trust - the golden trio that truly makes it a spanking good time!
Temperature Play: Hot Wax and Ice Sensors
Delving deeper into the realm of sensory exploration, you have Temperature Play; a tantalising tango of warmth and chill. This is where things get a tad hotter (or colder)!
Let's kick off with Hot wax. It’s not some fancy spa treatment where you end up smoother than a baby dolphin (though that wouldn't be too shabby either). This is about introducing some heat into your intimate play. Special BDSM candles, which burn at a lower temperature than conventional ones, are your go-to here. So don't just grab that Yankee candle from your hallway. Unless you fancy a trip to the emergency room – not exactly the climax we're aiming for here.
Hot wax provides a uniquely intense sensation. Imagine a light burn followed by a sensual warmth spreading slowly across your skin. You’re painting skin landscapes with liquid fire. And trust me, it’s hotter than a jalapeno doing a flamenco dance in a sauna.
Needing a chill pill after wax play? Right on cue: Ice sensors! These handy little titbits are your cool-down experts. Tickling your skin with glacial delight these bad boys create an icy prickle that’s just as electrifying as their sizzling counterparts. It's like plopping into a snow bank after a hot tub experience!
You're thinking, 'Where on earth do I find ice sensors?' Well, titles may be deceptive! They're not some high-tech gadget that you need an engineering degree to operate. At your friendly neighbourhood Peaches & Cream, you'll find cold play toys — from metal toys that can be cooled, to glass toys boasting thermal conductivity.
In temperature play, it's all about messing with your body thermostat and teasing nerve endings that probably never knew existed. But do remember: safety first. Don't freeze your bits off or raise the stakes too high on the thermostat. Balance is your middle name here.
Electrosex: Violet Wands
Tip toeing into the tantalising tinglings of electrosex? Let's bust a myth straight off the bat. You're not sticking a finger in the plug socket. Not today, sunshine! You'll be turning to violet wands. They're safe, adjustable and held in high esteem in the cheeky world of BDSM.
Violet Wands
Let's talk about violet wands. No, they're not something out of Harry Potter. Violet wands deliver their own brand of magical fun in the world of electrosex.
Also coined 'violet rays', these captivating contraptions offer a more accessible - and less intimidating - leap into electrosex. With a gentle setting or two, even beginners can feel like BDSM pros in no time!
Violet wands don't shy away from intense sensations either. They go from a tender kitten's caress to an enraged tiger in a split second! But remember, it's always about safe, consensual, and controlled play. Always.
So, why not give these electrifying devices a whirl? After all, amidst leather and lace, TENS units and violet wands could be your spark of life in the adventurous world of BDSM!
Toys for Teasing and Tickling: Feathers and Ticklers
That's right, we're moving from electric shocks to something a bit simpler, dear reader. It's time to lighten things up! Let's introduce feathers and ticklers that can add a touch of fun and gentleness to BDSM play. Have you ever imagined feeling a light, ticklish sensation running up your spine causing a flurry of giggles? No? Well, it's high time we dive into the world of feathers and ticklers!
Feathers and ticklers are ideal for those of you entering the BDSM world for the first time. Why, you ask? Because they're non-intimidating, easy to use, and tickle your sense of touch just right! Fun fact: feathers come in all sizes so there's a wide variety available for your tickling delight. You've got feather dusters and ostrich feathers for a teasing touch, to peacock feathers for the ones going all out!
Ticklers, on the other hand, offer more rigid control compared to feathers. Composed mainly of leather or faux fur, they come with a stiff handle for a firm grip. So, while your partner is hand-tied and blindfolded why not bring a tickler in the play!
Take the tale of Sophie and Dan, one of our loyal customers who brought their first tickler a few months back. Both being BDSM beginners, they started experimenting with a simple feather tickler. Fast forward to today, and they swear by the enhanced connection and intimate communication that these tiny ticklers brought into their bedroom play. With ticklers, you tend to focus more on your partner's reactions and movements, making you more attentive to each other.
Now you might be wondering how these toys, that appear to be so simple, can add to your BDSM play. But it's all about teasing your partner, getting their senses heightened, anticipating the incoming sensation. The thrill lies within not knowing where or when the feather or tickler will caress your skin next.
To get the most out of your feathers and ticklers, remember to always pair them with blindfolds for an edgy and arousing play. It's all about the element of surprise, you see.
Final Thoughts: Enhancing Pleasure and Safety in BDSM
So, you've dipped your toes into the tantalising world of BDSM, and guess what? You didn't even need a safety word for this article! Feathers and ticklers, as we've discovered, are the ideal starting point for your kinky adventures. They're as non-threatening as a kitten, yet they can elicit a roar of pleasure that would make a lion jealous.
Blindfolds and a feather? That's like pairing a good wine with cheese - they just belong together. The teasing, the tickling, the heightened senses... It's all part of the fun and games. And remember, while BDSM might sound as serious as a tax audit, it's all about fun, connection, and communication.
So go forth, explore, and remember: safety can be sexy too!
